Désirée Manders
Personal coach
IT'S A GOOD DAY TO HAVE A GREAT DAY!
Our mind consitst of a conscious and an unconscious or subconscious part. The ratio between the two is 10% (conscious) to 90% (subconscious)! Reactions from the conscious mind are habitual. The conscious part of the mind relies on and reacts to information downloaded into the system based on other people’s truths, values and (limiting) beliefs.
This is why interventions (outside help from let's say a coach) can be easily made undone simply because the mind thinks or is convinced that ‘this won’t work’. What we don’t realize is that ‘this won’t work’ is an instruction to our subconscious part of our mind. The subconscious always follows any instruction we give it. So as a result you will be aware of all the proof that this indeed does not work! Thus completing the cycle of being stuck in negative behaviour, emotions, and experiences.
In realizing this you may understand that thoughts become things, so choose the good ones! EFT helps release limiting beliefs and helps you to choose ‘good’ thoughts instead.
The subconscious is like a super computer.
It takes care of all sorts of things without consciously having to give instructions. Just think about how you breathe, digest, use your muscles, the beating of your heart -it all happens automatically. Even your thinking brain is being operated from a subconscious level.
In the storage part of that super computer all kind of data has been downloaded. You could look at this data as ‘programming’; like a manual you have created based on your perception and past experiences. In the here and now those programs can be activated, enabling you to respond quickly to any given situation. As it turns out though, the reaction based on past experiences might not always be appropriate in the present situation. Simply because at a very early age the programming started.
Behaviour that suits a 4 year old might not be effective for an adult… Sounds strange? How about this; a 4-year old might have a tantrum, throw himself on the floor and scream until he gets his way (or at least is noticed by his parents). As an adult you might not throw yourself on the floor but you might still be very irritated, walk away angry, slam the door or do anything else that will bring the message across or at least gets you noticed in your moment of emotional pain. This behaviour can sort of creep up on you and in hindsight leave you wondering: “why did I behave in that manner?”.
Another possibility is that you get stuck in certain behavioural patterns that you may not even be aware of. For instance not being able to set healthy boundaries, being too self focused causing you to loose sight of the bigger picture and the people around you, comparing yourself to others, being a perfectionist, loose yourself (be out of contact with yourself or others), pushing to get your way, manipulating, having to be in control, etc. These patterns could cause the feeling of being unhappy, not being able to fully enjoy life, burn-out, the lack of sense of living, not being able to follow your heart, and so on.
Our believe system is usually based upon other peoples values, beliefs and truths. We get most of our information from the people and world around us and we take on board this information to be either true or false (again based on past experiences).
The most common limiting beliefs we find are;
I’m not good enough
I’m not beautiful
I’m not smart
Nobody likes me
I shall never succeed
This is not for me (but for everybody else)
Nothing will ever change.
These limiting beliefs come from our thinking brain and are based upon information downloaded in the past (usually in our childhood and/or early teens).
These beliefs can easily be released and replaced by supportive, loving beliefs.
What does an EFT session look like?
EFT opens up the meridians by tapping (with your fingers) on the meridian points. These are the same points used in acupuncture. By tapping on the meridians you open up the flow of energy in the body.
In the EFT set up, we start by looking at the topic the client wants to work on. I help the client to make the topic as specific as possible.
While tapping, the client taps with their fingers on specific points on the side of the hand (only for the set up phrases), the face, collar bone, under the arm and on the top of the head. I guide the client through the proces and words that form the EFT session.
In the first sequence of the tapping session the so called set up phrase is used, enabling to acknowledge the problem state and at the same time start the process of self acceptance and self forgiveness within this problem state.
The second sequence is used to really express all the emotion revolving around this problem state, while tapping on the meridians thus releasing energy blockages. For many people this is the first time they really express how they feel (in the safety of the coach/client confidentiality) rather than acting in a socially acceptable or expected way.
A real feeling of being freed up is almost always experienced after this second sequence.
The third sequence is what I call the neutralizing state, where I help the client to disconnect from other peoples stories, the energy involved and most importantly letting go of the limiting beliefs around the problem state. This means that the situation remains, the memories remain, the people remain, but the emotional attachment is being released. This enables the client to be in a so called 'zero state'; being able to stay neutral in the situation rather than feel overwhelm through (misplaced) emotions.
In the last sequence we install new/other beliefs that are loving and supportive towards the client. This part is a lot of fun because anything is possible! Together we find the words to describe the beautiful person with infinite possibilities they truly are!
EFT is also a form of cellular release therapy, as strong limiting beliefs will be released throughout the system. I help the client by literally telling the system (and the different parts of the system) to let go of the limiting beliefs/energy. In doing so the client experiences instant relief.
All of my EFT clients have experienced an immediate sense of relieve during and after the session. Prior to the session I have them rate the problem state on a scale of 1 to 10 (1=it is no problem, 10=unbearable). The clients all experience a significant drop on that scale!